The name's Kale Bauer; World-renowned ladykiller, badass extraordinaire, and pretty much the second coming of christ. So uhh... You know, I get around.
I guess you can add 'awful storyteller' to that list too, huh?
Oh you cheeky fuck! Well alright smart guy, you clearly know SO much about me, when's my birthday then? Take a guess, hotshot.
Huh? I don't know, June... 4th?
Wrong. Get fucking DESTROYED, nerdo. Looks like you don't really know me after all~
Yeah? Well, when *is* your birthday, then?
Huh? Oh, I dunno. Sometime in May I think? I stopped keeping track a long time ago. Waste of time, y'know?
Well then how could you... Ugh okay, whatever! Look, I have something I really need to ask you. It's been bugging me ever since we took off... Why did you break me out of that place? Like, I don't even know why I was IN there, let alone who put me there, or why a stranger would waste their time breaking me out...
Huh. You really don't know, then? That's wild... Do you got that memory deficit thing? Amnesia, I think?
No! No, I don't have amnesia, and I don't have a memory problem... I-I hope I don't, anyway... The last thing I remember is being with my mom. She was really upset about something, but I didn't really have time to ask what about. We went into some room of the house I'd never known about that had a weird metal door, and then... There was a bunch of noise behind me, and I think I was hit on the head. Everything went black, and When I came around I was laying on the floor of that cell.